all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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