dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
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