and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
