At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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