you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize