i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
