Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
