I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
