you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
