he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
