I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Panties = found
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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