You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize