what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
