note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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