That's intense
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
