Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
