How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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