It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
