Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
