What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
