your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
