I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
