as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
well you can't waste a boner
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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