i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
