He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
