i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
