I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
