WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I am naked and annoyed.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
