'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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