Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
