I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
