Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
