so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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