but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
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How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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