I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
