just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize