Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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