remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
