Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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