I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
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So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
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Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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