So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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