Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
