the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
