People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
