you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
