Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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