I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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