you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
