glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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