Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
