Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
