Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
