what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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