just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
