quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
