my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
