Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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