She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
