Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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