im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize