Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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