His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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