Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
