I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize